BONDADE-13: O ESPELHO DOS NOSSOS DEFEITOS

A falta de bondade manifesta-se, entre outras coisas – como vimos –, pela reação que os defeitos alheios provocam em nós: umas vezes, de impaciência; outras, de desprezo ou cansaço. E já percebemos que tais reações não são propriamente “provocadas” pelos defeitos dos outros, mas são “ativadas” pelo nosso egoísmo ou pelo nosso orgulho.

Talvez compreendamos melhor o que se passa conosco se percebermos que, devido ao nosso egoísmo e à nossa autosuficiência, a primeira coisa que notamos nos outros é a sombra que os seus defeitos projetam sobre o espelho dos nossos próprios defeitos. Por outras palavras, os defeitos alheios incomodam-nos precisamente porque ferem um defeito nosso. Alguns exemplos podem esclarecer-nos.

Não é raro que um marido se sinta tremendamente aborrecido quando, ao chegar a casa cansado no fim do expediente, a mulher se dedica a martelar-lhe os ouvidos com uma longa cantilena de reclamações e lamentos: o elenco das contrariedades do dia. A reação espontânea do marido é perder o bom humor: “Por que não me deixa em paz? Será que não compreende que tenho direito a um pouco de repouso após um dia de trabalho estafante?”

Aparentemente, este marido tem razão. E certamente a esposa faria bem se guardasse para si as suas queixas e se ocupasse em tornar mais amável o convívio familiar. Mas também é verdade que a reação de impaciência e desgosto do marido não nasceu do amor: a ladainha enfadonha da mulher projetou-lhe uma sombra sobre o seu comodismo, feriu o seu comodismo, e por isso o perturbou. Fosse um homem de coração generoso, e a fraqueza da mulher se projetaria sobre o espelho do amor compreensivo, e nesse caso a reação seria outra.

Poderíamos falar também da impaciência do pai que recebe o boletim do colégio do filho enfeitado de vermelhos. É natural que esse mau desempenho nos estudos preocupe o pai e até que o deixe indignado. É lógico que tenha uma conversa menos suave com o filho. Mas, ao mesmo tempo, seria muito bom que analisasse o seu coração e se perguntasse: estou reagindo só por amor ao filho, pelo seu bem, ou porque me humilha que o meu garoto seja dos últimos da classe, e isso projeta uma sombra no espelho da minha vaidade? Pode muito bem acontecer que o sentimento predominante seja este último, e então a impaciência é a reação de um defeito pessoal atingido.

O mesmo poderíamos dizer quando notamos que possuímos uma grande facilidade para “ver” que os nossos colegas de trabalho são antipáticos, pouco inteligentes, maçantes e desleais…, quando, na realidade, o que “não vemos” é que estamos deixando-nos dominar pela inveja, pois o que nos aborrece é que, apesar de tantos defeitos que enxergamos neles, estão-se saindo melhor do que nós no trabalho e tendo maior sucesso.

Já dizia o Padre Vieira que “os olhos veem pelo coração; e assim como quem vê por vidros de diversas cores, todas as coisas lhe parecem daquela cor, assim as vistas se tingem dos mesmos humores de que estão bem ou mal afetos os corações” (Sermão da quinta Quarta-feira, 1669).

Quando o coração é limpo e bom, enxerga as coisas limpas e boas do mundo, especialmente as coisas limpas e boas dos outros. Se está manchado, projeta a sua sujidade em tudo.

Se fôssemos mais humildes e esquecidos de nós mesmos, ao percebermos que as fraquezas e os erros dos outros fazem saltar como uma mola os nossos próprios defeitos, começaríamos por tentar limpar esses nossos defeitos.

Veja o que sugeria Santo Agostinho: “Procurai adquirir as virtudes que julgais faltarem aos vossos irmãos, e já não vereis os seus defeitos, porque vós mesmos não os tereis” (Enarrat. in Psalmis, 30, 2, 7).

Vale a pena tentar essa experiência.

Trecho do livro de F.F O homem bom-Reflexões sobre a bondade

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